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The more he pushed me away, the more I couldn't have him, and every little glance of his was a delight. Even if I was given the cold shoulder.
What you want to have, you can't have. After chasing his harsh back all my life, I felt miserable even at the end.
For one, everything is different now. I will never be taken advantage by you.
You can't kill everyone again for my stupidity. But my anxiety prevailed, and fear enveloped me. Will I ever be able to live well? Will I be swayed by him again?
No, what kind of face should I express when I meet the Crown Prince?
As a habit, blood leaked out as I bit my lip. And then, outside the door, I heard someone calling me.
"Miss."
"Huh?"
I heard the beautiful voice of a young girl. It's been a long time since I heard the title 'Miss'. Lisa, who was in charge of my service, was one of the people whom I took with me when I entered the Imperial Palace.
"The Duke is here."
The duke...?
"My baby sister, it's been a while.”
As he came in through the door, his blue hair glowed brightly. Blue eyes like the waves. Wide shoulders that always made my mind comfortable like an open sky.
I was surprised on the spot and couldn't say anything. I've never forgotten in years, that's how I drew him.
Unknowingly, tears in my eyes blocked my view.
"Reina……? Are you all right.…?”
It's really...….
"Brother Alec!"
I ran and hugged him as hard as I could. Every touch of him in my hands was so precious. His unique scent of cool water was fragrant. His soft clothes got wet with my tears.
Alec was stunned as if he was embarrassed at first, but soon he hugged me more gently and patted me softly.
"My baby sister, what's wrong?”
When he soothes me like this, I used to pout my lips, saying that he always treat me like a child, but I don't know how much I missed his comfort during the many painful years without him.
"Are you calming down now?”
I shed a lot of tears. Even though I was much older than him before my return, he now looked a lot older than me.
Alec slowly pulled me to him and made eye contact. I nodded my head gently as I hiccuped.
I missed him. My brother's tenderness toward me seemed to penetrate my heart.
"Are you so happy to see me after a week? If so, I'm very happy.”
A week? It's a week!
It's been 12 years for me. I still remember having my brother's funeral, and I remember crying at his grave every year.
"I missed you, brother.”
I've imagined him still alive like this hundreds, maybe thousands of times. At this moment, I was happy as if I had everything.
“…….”
The day I dug into his arms again, he looked down in bewilderment for a moment. I thought I was just embarrassed. It's understandable. I had strangely distanced myself from him since I reached the age of 15.
Not only him, but also to Nicholas.
There was no particular reason. It's just one of an adolescent girl's whims.
"Brother Dearest."
"……Huh?"
Feeling the warmth of his arms for a moment, I slowly pulled myself off of him and looked him in the eye.
He looked at me in amazement with his mouth agape, slightly embarrassed. Brother dearest, he must have been surprised that I used the nickname that was quite cheesy even amongst aristrocrats.
Sometimes Brother Alec expressed his desire to hear the title from me, but each time I'd let it slide. It was too embarrassing to say such mushy terms.
"I love you."
Cuddling around Alec's waist, I let out a low voice. His soft silk shirt was very cozy.
"……My baby girl, what sort of wind suddenly blew in?”
He patted me softly on the back with a gentle warmth for a moment when I was getting embarrassed and stiffened. I looked up at him with slightly puffy cheeks.
"Why, do you hate it?”
I'm sure he would accept me acting cute like this. I wanted to feel that kind of love from him. I was hungry from his absence.
"No, it can not be."
As expected, Alec smiled at me shaking his head. With a sweet honey like eyes saying 'I'm dying of cuteness', and my whole body is overwhelmed with his affection for me.
"This is so nice."
I grinned at his words.
* * *
"Leader, the documents we're about to proce—?!”
The man who was standing and welcoming Alec gradually paled his voice and quickly shut up with a dumbfounded look. His surprised eyes were on me.
"Oh, this is my sister, Reina. This is Dior, deputy commander of the Knights."
Alec smiled leisurely and opened his mouth.
"Oh…… hello."
"……Sir Dior. Nice to meet you."
When I greeted him in a light voice, he also greeted me with a grim expression. There was silence for a moment. It was his subdued voice that broke the silence.
"……What happened?"
I rolled my eyes at Brother Alec, who was looking quite awkward.
Yeah, well, what happened is.
Just a moment ago, after a tearful reunion with Brother Alec, I wanted to stay with him. But Alec had a job to attend to.
Originally, he had been away for a week and had taken a short break to see me during his busy work. I acted like a child and wouldn't let him go.
At the end of the day, Brother Alec allowed me to stay in his office. He couldn't have readily rejected my wishes, for I hadn't been pestering him by the time I was 17 back then.
Well, that's why I'm accompanying him like this. Since the office is inside our mansion then it's alright to come along.
"……I see.”
The look on the man's face when he heard Brother Alec's explanation showed signs of still not liking me. Well, I understand. In fact, if I'm here, it'll not only bother my brother, but it'll also distract him.
I know what I'm doing is detrimental to their work, but what should I do? I didn't want to be away from Brother Alec at all. I feel like my confusion will be put to rest if I stay with him.
But before I knew it, both men fell into work. He didn't care a damn bit about me either, as if I didn't exist.
I watched him carefully reading the papers with his legs crossed across Brother Alec. In fact, he has an eye-catching appearance. I already knew who he was.
A strong presence where you can feel your height even when you're sitting.
The short black hair was glossy, and black eyes, like the moonless night sky, were cloudy as if they were pessimistic about everything, and also felt an unknown depth.
The thick eyebrows and sharp jawline were manly, and the white skin was moderately tanned, creating a breathtaking balance with the black uniform.
As if proving that he had nothing to do with it, a luxurious sword strap was hanging from his waist, and he was imbued with nobility from head to toe.
Dior de Huschelin.
Marquis Huschelin's second son and deputy chief of the Imperial Knights.
Brother Alec often talked at dinner about him, and he is also known for his name.
Before my return, I occasionally encountered him at my mansion or at social dinners, but I didn't have any memorable interactions with him. Because he died before I even became Empress.
He was the same age as Brother Alec, the leader of the group, and a friend who had been training since childhood. At the age of 22, the public was quite noisy when they took the positions of leader and deputy director side by side.
I have also seen a lot of aristocratic ladies, who have a heated debate about which of the two is the better groom. And every time, of course, it's Brother Alec.
When the two were killed in battle at the age of 25, there were more people who shed tears over their deaths than grieved over the defeat of the Empire. I was one of them.
‘……!’
As I unconsciously stared at him, he suddenly faced me head-on sensing that I was looking at him in a daze.
I quickly turned my head away from him. My face burned with shame. After staring at me for a while, he soon looked back down at the document he's reading.
Somehow I felt strange, so I swallowed my gulp unconsciously.
The tip of my tongue is sweet.
I left because I thought that the more I'm inside Brother Alec's office, the more awkwardness in the air will grow.
When I returned to the mansion by carriage from the banquet hall, it was noon when the morning air didn't completely wanned, but the sky was already dimming.
I came back to my room and laid down on a soft bed for a while. I still had a lot on my mind.
The happiest thing about returning to the past is the reunion with Brother Alec. That alone is satisfying to me. If I could live happily with my family like this without anyone's involvement, then I'm happy.
"Madam, we have a visitor."
"What do you mean visitor—?
"Hey, Reina!"
Suddenly, Lisa's words had been interrupted. And even before I'm done talking, the "guest" who opened the door as if he owns it was...
"Daniel……?"
Fresh green hair like a field of cool breeze with clear emerald eyes that sparkled with vitality. There's even that smug smile on the corners of his mouth.
Oh, no.
At 17, he was too lively. Yeah, he used to be like this. He was, I was, because of me...….
"Are you dying to see this brother...… what...? Are you crying?”
'Don't cry. I'll be sure to save you, Empress. Before you close your eyes and count to ten, I'll win.’
He thought of me first than anyone else. The one person who didn't turn his back on me until the end against so many knights. Until the end, you fought for me and died.
"Daniel..."
Daniel's expression, which seemed to be embarrassed by my sudden crying, hardened for a moment. Daniel, I'm so glad you're alive.
"Hey... hey... Uh... um....”
I buried my head in Daniel's chest and cried. The tears I cried in Alec's arms aren't all dry yet, but I can't believe I cried again.
Unlike Brother Alec, who was used to patting me, Daniel still seemed to be looking for words to comfort me, unable to keep his stiff body together.
I could imagine his arms waving clumsily in the air, whether to hug me or not.
I knew how embarrassing it must be for him, but I loved his warmth emitting through my skin. He was worrying for me until the moment he died spilling out blood while trying to protect me.
"Hey, no matter how much you missed me, do you really have to cry this much?"
Are these the only words you can muster? He's still such a child. It's like Daniel at this age. I burst into laughter.
"Did you really miss me that much? Smooth."
Daniel, who noticed my feeble smile, tried to make me laugh thinking it's all I need to stop crying. Why didn't I notice when I was seventeen? That all of his mischievous behavior was for me.
"Yes, I missed you.”
I barely stopped crying and stared at Daniel, slightly falling into his arms.
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