"Huh."
I couldn't move as if my whole body's blood had drained. The view was white and the stopped heart began to beat loudly.
When I took a sudden breath, which I had not known since when I had been holding back, my head was spinning and I felt dizzy. When I opened my eyes, the bright fluorescent light overlapped with the remnants of my dream a while ago.
I thought I was getting better, but why am I having this nightmare again?
The phone that woke me up from my nightmare rang for as long as it would ring forever.
I pulled myself together and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
Loen. Why can't you contact me? I heard something weird even when I called the central headquarters. He was recruited by an outside organization.
"Oh, sir."
I was a doctor who had been seeing psychiatry at the center since I was in the F branch.
At the time of the accident, my sister and I woke up as guides and Esper. I woke up after my sister died, so I hugged her, but she didn't become a guide.
It was a useless ability that could not be exercised when necessary.
He was then delirious and managed by the center. Thanks to the teacher, my daily life became possible and I maintained my relationship for a long time without medical treatment.
The teacher said that my dislike of guidance was trauma-induced rejection. Esper's body temperature was usually as cold as ice, and the lower the vitality, the higher the body temperature.
I've been in that arms for exactly five days. So when I touched Esper, I naturally thought of my sister, and Esper's unique body temperature reminded me of the terribleness of the day.
"I'm at the center."
What? Why? Are you sure you didn't join an outside group?
I have talked about this with my teacher before because I often fell into outside groups around me.
But I felt the same way back then, so I said I'd stay in a center that could protect me externally.
I told the teacher what had happened. A story about the actions taken by me at the center and the Eclipse group. Not a bad condition and the situation I'm in.
- I see. - I see.How's Roen doing? No, it can't be okay. The center is so mean too.
The teacher had no qualms. She was one of the few people I knew all the way to the bottom.
"No, I'm fine. Maybe it's a good thing. You don't have to comply with other Esper's unreasonable demands, and I think the work will be reduced a lot. If you work for five years, you can live like a normal person."
I'm glad to hear that, but...….
The teacher didn't seem to believe me that I was okay. It was Esper in the mental world who could not be unaware of rumors about Eclipse floating around.
"I'm really fine. Don't worry, sir."
Phew... how are you feeling? You said you had nightmares again these days.
"I think it's getting worse. Before that, I felt like I was watching vivid videos, but these days, I feel sick even in my dreams. There can't be any real pain."
Why is that? Is there anyone around you who reminds you of your trauma? It may come from pressure because you've been under a lot of stress lately. Are you taking the medicine I sent you last week well?
"Yes, I've been out of my mind lately. We don't have much medicine left."
I'll send you more. It's been a while since we've seen each other in person, should we take a look? I think I'm going to be assigned to the central headquarters.
"Really? That's great!"
I'll change the medicine after seeing the doctor. The medicine may have become resistant now. So the effect of the medicine may be minimal.
"Yes, I'll see you then, sir. I miss you."
Me, too. Loen, you have to survive.
The teacher always said that at the end of the treatment. You have to survive. Don't let go of hope in any way.
Every time I heard that, I remembered my sister. The sister who protected me till the end.
So I didn't know that I felt the same way with my family to my teacher.
Hanging up, I took the medicine bag out of the carrier. Come to think of it, there is nothing left to eat tomorrow. When I had this dream, the thought of wanting to sleep disappeared.
I don't think I need to sleep for a day or two. The drops of blood that had fallen on his face were still vivid.
knock, knock
"Yes."
"Loen, I don't think you've had a proper meal."
When I opened the door, it was Handel who came. She had sandwiches and drinks in her hands.
She put the plate on the table with worrying words. It was awkward for someone to take care of my meal. The honorifics she does, too.
"Oh, thank you. Handel, don't talk to me. I'm a lot younger."
"No, please knock on the first room on the third floor for any inconvenience. It's my room."
"Yes."
Handel left the room after a short talk. I thought you didn't like me, didn't you?
I took a quick look at the food and took a bite. Come to think of it, I only eat bread today. Nevertheless, I was hungry, so I ate all the sandwiches.
Time was already pointing to eleven o'clock. I had dinner at 8 o'clock, so I slept for two hours.
But I said I'd call you after dinner, but Calix didn't answer. I knocked on the door when I was sleeping, but I didn't know I slept without hearing it.
I wanted to ask you something. Why you put me on the fifth floor, why you interrupted Judith.
I decided to go outside because I was frustrated about falling asleep like this.
"Do what you've been doing. Keep your distance from the guide, making weird wall excuses."
"There's no progress.”
As soon as I left the room, I heard a story. I thought you said the room next to mine was definitely Carlix's
As I got closer, the door was a little open. I held my breath without realizing it.
"Do you think the guide would be any different?”
"It's a guide that I can guide. It's common for Esper to become addicted to guides."
"I think I know what you're thinking...…it's too dangerous. You're gonna have a girl with you less than two days? If she changes her mind, can you notice? How are you going to tell it apart?"
"Why would I do that at the center..."… wait. Come on in."
I'm stiff as a fiddle.
Did you notice? Yes, it can't be. He said he was Espergo and particularly sensitive to sound.
But I really just breathed.
"Did I steal the house? But can you steal anything if you're so sloppy?"
"You said you'd call me, but I haven't heard from you.”
I entered the room as casually as I could. The room was arranged as if to show the owner's personality. The whole white thing looked like an obsession.
And the spectacled psychic Esper, Dean, was facing Calix. He scurried out of the room when he ran into me.
What was it about? An extension of the argument we had at the dinner table?
Wall, guide, she. It was an unknown conversation, you know.
What's clear is that I wasn't recruited by Eclipse for no reason. That alone could be inferred.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so late."
"It's okay."
"But don't come first until I call you."
This guy, he was getting on my nerves right now. I thought I knew even though I was the type of person who couldn't show my feelings well. Because you've been pretty soft on me.
The timing didn't seem right. Then I can't even ask what I want to ask.
"Will I come back tomorrow?"
"No, I'm here, so let's take care of it.”
Calix took a document out of the desk drawer and put it on the table.
"Read it and sign it. It's a contract that includes what we agreed on then."
I walked slowly and sat on the sofa. The front page of the contract was not much different from what it was when it was signed with the Center.
The specificity was written on the back, but I couldn't concentrate. It was also suspicious to try to finish it like this by roasting beans on lightning.
Calix gave me a relatively long time to read through to the last chapter. But it didn't feel comfortable.
It just wasn't grumpy, but it was looking at me the whole time. The gaze was frustratingly clear. I was troubled for a while when there were no more pages to turn over.
"Is something missing?"
"Not like that."
"Tell me. I'll make it as convenient as possible.”
Calix has acted like this since the first meeting. A person who had nothing to be desired looked at me and adjusted to me.
You don't look that good when you're with the members.
"Because I'm suspicious...I heard a little bit of conversation earlier.”
"I don't want you to ask."
Carlix's brow was wrinkled. I felt it before, but when I wasn't smiling it was a very cynical impression. But it wasn't a matter of letting it slide.
"I think it's about me, how can I not ask?"
"Loen only needs to do what she has to do. There's nothing else to worry about.”
"What exactly is my job at Eclipse?"
"Guiding. I told you to be my guide."
There was a lack of explanation. Unlike other guides, I didn't understand everything about staying on the fifth floor or asking me to be his guide even though I had an SS-class guide.
"I can't believe it."
"There are times in life when it's convenient to ignore. Loen needs it now."
"I was going to do that, but I don't think this is right. I have a bad feeling about this. You're so partial to me."
"Me? Does it look like that to you?"”
Calix burst into laughter. I'm a little ashamed now that I've said with my mouth that he favors me.
But isn't it right? You don't act soft to the members either. He was like a midget at the center. But it felt like a pushover to me as I shot.
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